I have made many compromises in my life, I have fought many times in my life
Sometimes it is said
that you need to compromise but I think that if your life is so small, why
should I compromise A lot of people say that Hina Altaf is over confident the
things that are said in our society. I think that if we don't give a girl the
confidence. So she cannot stay alive. I was usually told to compromise but i
think that a girl should take a stand in life Compromise. A stand for what? you
knew your mother was unwell. So she needed a doctor and the doctor said that the
disease is not curable anymore and till that day.
when I stayed at home there were
fights but the doctor had clearly said that this can be controlled only for a
couple of hours. So what did your brothers decide after this? Samina everyone
was there but but a disease that has no remedy it has become incurable, so the
max we could do was stay quite and have patience. So this was the only thing we
could do How would you feel if you look at your mother in her room and she is
just awake all the time and she just talks to the walls. How would you feel up?
Because you know that there is no cure. I went to every doctor but they said the
same You heart just wants explode. You can't concentrate on your work properly. So you just have to block everything and have to go to work it becomes really
hard in life. So when did you decide that now you will leave the house? at the
age of 21 or 22 and what would you do after leaving the house.
I was already
acting I had financial stability to support my house and my mom I was the one
who was going through stress and depression, so I used to get sick like my fitness
wasn't going well. So thats when I realized that I have done everything and
nothing was getting better and I thought that I had to make some right
decisions And you also had work stress Yes, all that too, you director is
screaming and you are not learning your lines. you have to work till midnight
and there is a fight when you come home and you hear things like, "You are
a prostitute" and you don't go out an work. You are a prostitute. How would
you feel if your mom says this to you but deep down in your heart.
She is not
saying this in her senses but Samina. You cannot listen to all these things
every night after you work home you need to be in your senses to go back to
work and get the energy back again. So I thought if I had to do something, I had
to keep my self well too. So I was 21 when I said that I need to leave and be
independent. What did you father say? He started fighting there was a havoc in
our house that you have to get back to home or else I will call the police. I am
not saying that my father was an evil man, he was amazing father but in our
society, a girl leaving her house means that the respect of the family is lost
and everything bad is going to happen now. I think that girls should atleast. You
should try to give them a year in which they would live independently.
You
shouldn't pull their strings so much that they break. I see so many families who
have prohibited girls and restricted them and they still are doing all the
wrong things. They don't focus on their lives and their career they start doing drugs
and alcoholism and the other things but why not give them a little bit of a
chance and sometimes it is necessary to give them solitude. so that you can look
back and observe yourself with rationality and so you can absorb the
predicaments and so that you can see. where you were wrong that maybe I had
taken a wrong stand and that my family members are not always wrong.
So there is
this thing called, defence mechanism and are families have it especially in our
society that if the girl is earning for the house, and she has left that means
that they are going to face many more problems now but I made sure that
whenever I leave my house I would do everything that I could as a daughter I
would support them in every single thing. So your brothers were studying at that
time? My brother was studying and afterwards he got a job but we had to do like
a team. My father was very angry he said that he will call the police and etc If
I wanted, I could have gone back but I didn't misbehave with my father.
I didn't do anything like that because he is my father and I am talking in english because he was the one who sent me to an english medium school but I told him to give me sometime and let me be alone. What was the first thing you did after leaving your house? I found a house No, I understand that So for a women being independent and fighting with the situations economic independence is the most important thing If she is earning herself then she can make bid decisions in life that is what gives you the strength Definately and there are so many kinds of situatuons Like your family members can fall sick Indeed. So you can face a lot of hardships so it is very important.
So thats why you thought that you were economically independent. yeah My brother used to say this to me that that don't just marry anyone and stand on your feet before deciding to marry. You should have money so that you don't have to be dependent on anyone I was very young, 17 or 18. I used to think that what is he even talking about like I am not even married but now when I look around people do day that marriage is very crucial but I think that women are victimized in several relations. Whether its your husband or your son I think that our society should trust the mothers and the daughters but we just don;t want to give them trust.
So this is the reason that
the string breaks because you don't let the string loose. So what kind of a
relationship do you have now? Very calm and cool. My family knows that I am
working hard to get things rolling in the house and in the life. So my father
has understood that I have taken all the responsibilties on my shoulders and
that I want to be alone. So what makes me happy is that maybe my father got very
angry during those days but late. he accepted that where I went afterwards. I am
not only taking care of myself but also my family and I am happy because he
accepted this thing.
Accepting this is a big deal for a man who only has one
daughter And how is your relationship with your mother? Overall? No, the
relation after you got independent Samina, she in not in her normal state
anymore, that she could decipher or know what I am doing Maybe she doesn't even
remember this that she has a daughter. So she doesn't remember much When I see
girls sharing that bond with there mom a lot of people ask me that what is the
one thing missing in your life I think that missing thing is there are a lot of
scenes in which you have to bring out the tray in an elegant manner.
I think I
was 16 when I started working and my mom was going through so much So I had not
learned a single thing about elegance and dignity. I didn't even know how to do
the kitchen stuff or how to set a tray. So usually when I used to be shooting
for a drama or something I usually was scolded that no one taught me about
anything And I used to be just quite that I actually haven't learned anything
and what should I say to them But I think they should also think before
speaking too But all the directors used to scold me that I had no respect or
decorum that I don't know how to set trays or do kitchen work. So I have been
scolded a lot because of things like these that I don't know anything becasue I
never learned and how is your relation with your brothers?
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